What's This Life For?
by labelbasher
Summary: Oneshot. Booth and Bones get together and talk after a particularly difficult case. Bones gets in touch with her feelings with a little help from Booth. BB of course!


What's This Life For

By Pirate Rhi

I tried to resist, but this bunny bit hard! I know I should be doing my assignment, but when I was out running on Sunday, the song What's this Life For by Creed came on my iPod, and one thing led to another and this story popped out. If you want the full effect of the story, I suggest you listen to, or read the lyrics of the song before you read the fic. It's a tad angsty, and of course there's BBness because I know you love it!

Well, that's it from me, I hope you guys enjoy my little story.

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Dr. Temperance Brennan signed her name to the dotted line at the bottom of the paper and shut the manila folder for the last time, sliding it over her desk to where Special Agent Seeley Booth was sitting on the other side. She knew she should have felt a sense of satisfaction that they had successfully solved the case and put another murderer behind bars, but she felt strangely dissatisfied.

The case had been a difficult one, and that was putting it lightly. Paul Durie was a serial killer who had put six tiny bodies on the lab tables in front of Brennan and the Squints. Six young children who, if not for Durie, would have been enjoying life with their loving families and doing things that regular kids do. Six five-year-olds who would not have the option of living a full and happy life. Six sets of bones that would be buried underground in a cold, impersonal grave in a matter of days.

Tensions had run high and both Brennan and Booth had felt the strain. Mistakes had been made, and as a result, two more innocent lives had been lost, which is what had driven the original four up to six. Both FBI agent and forensic anthropologist shouldered some of the guilt, regardless of the fact that neither of them were responsible, nor to blame.

Booth picked up the manila folder and tucked it under his arm. "Wong Fu's?" he asked, giving Brennan a small smile, trying to insert some normalcy into the situation.

Brennan paused before shaking her head. "No, I think I'll just go home and get some rest."

Booth nodded his understanding. He didn't feel like going out to celebrate, either. He actually had a sudden urge to see Parker, to hold his son in his arms and never let go. He knew that this case had hit far too close to home for him. Cases involving children always did. He found himself asking 'What if?'. 'What if it's not some other kid next time?' 'What if next time it's Parker?'. Booth visibly shook his head, as if to snap himself out of that line of thinking.

Brennan watched Booth shake his head and she could easily guess at what he was thinking. Although she didn't have a kid herself, and she didn't particularly want one at this point in time, cases involving children always got to her too. She found it harder to detach and put her heart in a box, as she normally would.

Neither Booth nor Brennan seemed all that eager to up and leave at this point in time, both hesitating, lingering in each other's company for just a moment or two longer.

"Booth," Brennan said, hesitantly. "Would you like to come back to my place for a drink instead. I've got that Moroccan beer you like so much."

Booth smiled. Not quite a full smile, but better than the previous one. "Yeah, okay. And I can pick up some takeaway on the way. My choice this time."

"Sounds good." Brennan said, gathering up her things and putting on her jacket.

Booth escorted Brennan out to her car, his hand protectively placed on the small of her back, as usual. Normally Brennan chose not to notice the touch, simply labelling it as one of Booth's alpha-male tendencies, but this time she welcomed it, and walked just that little bit closer to the FBI agent.

Booth opened the drivers' side door of Brennan's car for her, noticing the lack of protest from his forensic anthropologist. "See you in fifteen minutes." He said, before closing the door and walking the few parking spots down to his SUV.

Brennan drove back to her apartment in silence, after flicking through the radio stations and finding nothing on but mindless chatter from the DJs and ads trying to persuade her to buy things that she didn't really need. Somewhere along the way, she tuned out what was going on around her and didn't realise until she was parked in her parking space at her apartment with no recollection of how she had got there. Mimicking what Booth had done earlier, Brennan visibly shook her head to try and get her thoughts back on track as she locked her car and made her way up to her apartment.

It was nice to be home, after spending so much time at the lab over the past few weeks. Although the lab was like a second home to her, she found herself missing the few comforts that she allowed herself among her personal belongings. While she waited, Brennan busied herself by washing the few dishes that were in the sink, and was just putting away an anthropology text book that she had left out on the table when the doorbell rang. It was Booth, with impeccable timing, as always.

Brennan opened the door for Booth, and stepped aside to let him in. Judging by the delicious smell that wafted in with him, he had brought Chinese food with him. Booth made his way into the lounge and made himself comfortable on a couch with a pair of chopsticks and the box of fried rice. Brennan followed shortly after with two bottles of beer and selected her own box of food before making herself comfortable on the other end of the couch.

For a while they ate in silence, comfortable in each other's company, both lost in their own thoughts. They swapped boxes of food once they'd each eaten half, despite the fact that neither of them were feeling very hungry at that moment.

Brennan sighed and put the box of fried rice down on the table, after a couple of minutes of poking the chopsticks aimlessly into the rice.

Booth looked up from his own box of food. "You alright, Bones?" he asked.

"I should be." Brennan answered, looking up into Booth's eyes.

"But you're not." Booth replied, putting his box of food down on the table next to Brennan's.

"But I should be." Brennan said firmly. "I mean, I can understand how the case would affect you, with having a child and all, but I don't have one, and I can't understand how this case should affect me any more than a regular case. It's not rational."

"Bones, you have to listen to your heart." Booth said in a soft voice. "What you just said is your inner scientist talking. Not everything can be measured in a lab, least of all human emotion. In some cases, your heart can tell you what your head can't."

"But I still don't understand." Brennan said, with an uncharacteristic hint of exasperation and defeat in her voice.

"But I do." Booth said. "I know you, Bones. I know you're not as cold as you come across. And I know that although you hide it under scientific lingo and rational explanations, deep down you feel just as much as everyone else. I just think that you don't know what to do with what you feel."

"What do you mean?" Brennan asked, confusion evident on her face.

"I'll show you." Booth said, adjusting himself on the chair so that he was facing directly towards Brennan, motioning for her to do the same so they ended up sitting sideways on the couch. "Okay, now close your eyes."

Brennan gave him a sceptical look, but after a moment's hesitation she obeyed, shutting her eyes. "What's this supposed to prove?"

"Just wait." Booth said. "Now, I want you to take your time to think first before you answer this question. I know your thought process is incredibly fast, but I want you to really think about this one, okay?"

"Okay." Brennan nodded her agreement.

"Tell me what you feel. Right now, at this moment in time."

Brennan's eyes snapped open. "Booth!" she protested. "I thought we've just been over this."

"Just do it, Bones." Booth said, looking directly into her eyes, where he could see her hesitation. "It'll be okay, just trust me."

"I do trust you." Brennan said, closing her eyes again and taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I feel…cold, I need to start putting the heater on."

"Nice try, Bones, but not what I had in mind. Keep on going."

"I feel…frustrated that it took so long to catch Durie…I'm annoyed…angry…saddened at the loss of innocent lives…but I'm relieved now that it's over…I feel dread that I might get another case like this…regret over the mistakes that were made…guilt because I couldn't do anything about it." Brennan said hesitantly, keeping her eyes firmly shut.

"That's good. Now what else do you feel?" Booth prompted.

"But right now I feel…safe. Like everything could be okay. I always feel like that when you're around. You make me feel like I can face these cases and come out the other side unscathed. But this case was different…I felt like it drove us apart a bit…and I felt like I was alone."

Brennan felt a touch on her hand, and she opened her eyes to find Booth's large hand covering her own small one. Ignoring her rational inner scientist, she let instinct take over and turned her hand so that she could grasp Booth's hand properly. She looked up into Booth's eyes, his brown gaze turned deadly serious.

"Know this, Temperance, I will never leave you alone." Booth said, his voice showing the same seriousness as his eyes.

Brennan couldn't do anything but nod. She didn't think she would be able to speak past the huge lump that seemed to have taken up residence in her throat, and as the tears welling up in her eyes threatened to spill over, Booth pulled her into a hug. Brennan felt herself relax into his strong embrace and she let the security and protection of Booth's presence wash over her.

They sat like that for what seemed like an eternity, until Brennan finally pulled back, a grateful smile on her face. "Thanks, Booth." She said, her voice uncharacteristically quiet.

"No worries." Booth said, wrapping one arm around Brennan, pulling her closer towards him again. "That's what I'm here for."

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Reviews are a writer's best tool. If you liked it (or even if you didn't like it) I'd love to know what you thought.

Rhi


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